Chapter 6 - Self Development Analysis—SDA © 1996 by Oliver H. Jobson, CHy From His Book Expanding The Boundaries Of Self Beyond The Limit Of Traditional Thought Discovering The Magic Within. When grief overtakes you and pain has you in its grip, the Lord does not always announce the exact sin for which that particular experience is the punishment. You are left to deduce, in a general way, that every experience is a lesson and every loss is a gain. You have got to learn that you bind yourself and you liberate yourself…  —SSSB During the course of writing this book I decided it would be appropriate to include information on a technique I have used to solve a number of problems. These problems were psychological and emotional obstacles that had become stumbling blocks in my personal development. This technique, which I call Self Discovery Analysis, I developed for my personal use. After giving deep thought to the issues I believed were adversely affecting me, I began listing them; to my surprise, I discovered I had been carrying a backlog of issues, a load of baggage, relating to many uncomfortable and traumatic situations in my life, stemming from as far back as my childhood. As I delved deeper and practiced my technique of SDA, I rapidly began expanding my self-awareness. This naturally improved my self-confidence, and I gained more of an understanding of self, which contributed to expanding my boundaries of understanding. Through this practice, I gained a far greater degree of awareness about the intimate, personal and infinite aspects of my being. My feelings began to change as I progressed in the technique, giving me a new sense of empowerment and leading to a redefinition of my goals and objectives. It was as if I were experiencing a resurgence of new energy that made me eager to thrust out into new avenues of discovery and expansion. Enlightenment cannot be attained, nor forced. It can only happen…It can appear only when it is given a vacant space to appear in. — Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj This newfound awareness was enhanced by my meditations and by attending to the teachings of Sri Sathya Sai Baba. Thus with these three tools—my technique, meditation and Swami’s teachings—I began a process of rebirth. The new realization into which I was reborn resulted in the writing of the chapter about peace and happiness. Part III in this book consists of a selected number of examples of topics that materialized from my SDA exercises. Quite naturally, many are extremely personal. During the period when I was developing and practicing this phase of self discovery analysis, I was also going through a time of deep depression. My state of mind was the result of traumatic experiences that had ended with the loss of my investments—my money, my home and my car—as well as my enthusiasm and drive to fight my way back to recovery. It is amazing that as I was going through that depression, my friends could recognize it but I was not aware of it. I think I did not recognize it because I am normally someone with strong faith, and although I was divorced and living alone, I never felt lonely; I had always enjoyed meditating and talking to my inner self. Clearly, I was taking a path of self-discovery by looking within and endeavoring to communicate with the very soul that resides within me. The soul is the inner sanctum of our body temple and is the divinity that lies within us all. The practice of trying to verbally communicate with it is a very valuable pastime, which forces the practitioner to delve within for an inner-view. This practice was spurred on when I regularly went through the emotions of self-pity—a natural consequence of depression. I can only imagine that it is at such a juncture that many people give up and commit suicide. In my case, because the whole experience was drawn out over a period of time, I became more emotionally intense. I clearly remember forcing myself to give thought, not just to my own damaged ego and pride, but also to those around me. I considered all of this as I comfortably sat down at the table, calmly going through the actions that within a few moments might have ended in my final chapter in this life. Truly, the ego is the enemy that Jesus The Christ referred to as the devil. The ego is, on many occasions, the tool that stimulates us to do negative things. It thrives on disharmony, it gloats on anger, it bathes in confusion and it explodes in emotions of negative passion. If damaged, it becomes the devil as we give way to its rage by committing hurtful acts or saying hurtful words. If I had allowed my ego to overpower me because of my false pride, which was terribly hurt and deflated, I might have committed the atrocious act of suicide—the selfish coward’s weak way of defeating the very spirit that resides within. A number of things come to mind that I wish to share with those who may be going through moments of depression, contemplating suicide for any reason. Here is the truth about suicide: 1.                  It is borne out of self-pity, embarrassment, terminal illness, loneliness, revenge, intense             emotion and a desire to give up the race of life. 2.                  It is a selfish and thoughtless act because it deprives family and friends from having the individual             around; this is so no matter whether one believes he is appreciated and loved. 3.                  It is a self-centered behavior because it implies that consideration is not being given to those who             are left behind. 4.                  To commit such an act from damaged pride, emotion or revenge, in order to save embarrassment             or to punish another, is short sighted. Suicide does not serve that purpose, for life will go on for             those left behind, no matter whether the act makes those left behind feel guilty. 5.                  The period is short between birth and death, and the journey may seem steep, but all obstacles             are surmountable with the passage of time. No matter how bad things may seem, there are others             experiencing worse trauma who have the will and guts to see it through. Accepting your full time is             just another way of saying you are waiting on God. The secret is to force oneself to have enough             of a feeling of adventure to carry on! 6.                  As long as one has life and breath, the sky is the limit. When one is in a depression and down at             rock bottom, he can go no lower. With patience and perseverance, one can only move upward. 7.                  When experiencing a traumatic, emotional and stressful time,  patience and the support of family             and or friends—or just being alone and doing the exercise of Self Discovery Analysis—one can             commence a gradual climb out of that feeling of drowning. With the passage of time, this, too,             shall pass. 8.                  Those who commit suicide will never find out how their roles in this game of life might have ended.             Perhaps they were destined to be shining examples to others in showing the way to success. It is             said that most millionaires have been bankrupt at least three times in their lives; there are many             stories of people who have moved from rags to riches. The book of Job in the Bible illustrates the             impact of faith and trust to move from riches to poverty and back to wealth. 9.                 I have also discovered that even when one is depressed and suffering from low self-esteem, there            are always others who hold them in high regard, as role models, whether they are children or            adults or family or friends. Suicide usually shatters the spirit of those who are the observers.  In this respect I strongly believe that therapy for those who need it should be all-inclusive and, therefore, holistic. That is why I developed SDA for my personal use. I could not afford a therapist at the time, although I must give immense credit to Dr. John Blackwood for his friendship during that dark period in assisting me to refine SDA.   To deal with one’s behavior without paying attention to the mind, and to deal with one’s mind without paying attention to the spirit, is like trying to saw a redwood tree with a twelve inch saw using a dull blade. It is an inadequate and futile exercise that costs money but has no lasting effect....   Click here to Buy NOW from Amazon           Click here to Buy a signed Book NOW From CCNow ◄ Return to www.gpaonline.com ◄ ► Return to www.expandingtheboundariesofself.com ►                                   © 1996 by Oliver H. Jobson. From His Book  Expanding The Boundaries Of Self Beyond The Limit Of Traditional Thought; Discovering The Magic Within Published June 2005.         "love all serve all, help ever hurt never"