Chapter 2 - Born Of Confusion

 Every human being has four birthdays. The first is when he emerges from his mother’s womb, and being neither holy or unholy, craves only for food and shelter; the second is when he begins his spiritual study to lead him from darkness to light; the third is when he has gained wisdom, having mastered the disciplines propounded by the rishis for achieving self-realization; the fourth and last is when he realizes his true identity and merges with Brahman. —SSSB

         I remember quite clearly as a young child how disconcerting an experience it was to feel like an outcast. I was in total confusion between the experiences I was learning in this new life on earth and the memories I brought with me at birth. I remembered a life so different from this one that it made me feel as if I had been placed in a state of confinement. I had thoughts and impressions of another life where the experience was one of a state of infinite peace. It was so different from this dimension—more stable, more beautiful and more real.

From this early age I felt as if I had been sent here to earth temporarily to learn some new experiences and gain some new information. I realized that this soul—or spirit, or call it what you will—which was housed in this limited, confining body identified by my name was longing to get away. I wanted out! I wanted to go back from whence I came. But no! I was not to have this wish granted. I had to face the music.

For years, both before and after entering my teens, growing older, I felt as if I were half here and half elsewhere. I found it difficult during that period of my life to be grounded. I was having difficulty adjusting to life here on earth. On numerous occasions I remember secretly crying, asking GOD to take me away. I felt like a boundless drop coming from a boundless ocean. I was sent here to a world of confinement and restriction as a lesson; it seemed almost like a punishment.

The amazing thing is that as I was growing up I took it for granted that everyone else experienced similar feelings. I believed that others were going through a similar dilemma but were not talking about it. I remember my memory being triggered by my brother’s birth when I was about five years old. Finding childbirth so peculiar, I asked my mother how I got to earth. My mother informed me that I came in similar fashion.

It was then that, for the first time, I informed her that she was not my mother but my guardian on this earth. I tried to explain to her that she could not have given birth to me, because I had never died. Somehow, even though we had a psychic bond between us, she was unable to comprehend what I meant.

It was not until after a number of occasions and similar discussions over a period of years that things began to get clearer. Finally, at my mother's death-bed when I was thirty-three years old, I asked her for the last time whether she gave me birth or whether I was adopted. You see, I was still trying to account for my appearance in this dimension. I could not understand it. I had conflicting ideas, one of which was being a walk-on. Once again she swore that she had physically given birth to me.

Over the years of my growth and development, especially during my teens and twenties, I freely spoke of reincarnation, making reference to many of my previous lives. In addition to sharing my experiences with reincarnation, I also spoke about aliens, teleportation, manifestation and other phenomena—what I considered to be normal things.

To my surprise, I learned that everyone thought I had “lost a screw” or was living in a world of fantasy. To make matters worse, all that I am sharing with you took place in the decades of the fifties and sixties, before radio or television opened their doors to a higher understanding of consciousness. Now it is called “New Age.” Discussing matters of this nature at that time was taboo—worse than discussing religion or sex.

Thus from an early age I realized that there were various, distinct aspects of my being. All were functioning simultaneously while I resided within this body, which was my current earthly vehicle. This was the reason I always felt spaced out.

In order to clarify my experience, allow me to...

 

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© 1996 by Oliver H. Jobson, CHy

From His Book

Expanding The Boundaries Of Self Beyond The Limit Of Traditional Thought Discovering The Magic Within

This thought provoking book is appealing to the religious, agnostic and atheist. Published June 2005.